'Dreamer' Release 'Not That Remarkable'.

RAVENNA, OH- Dan Hopkins, second-shift supervisor for Movie Gallery, states the unveiling of "Dreamer" in the New Release section 'not that remarkable'.

"We had a lot of fanfare over the release of Jarhead, the New Harry Potter, and Good Night & Good Luck, but it seems 'Dreamer' has kind of flown under the radar of our customers," said Hopkins. "That, or they know it's there but just don't want to rent it."

(more)

AKRON, OH- Gloria James, mother of basketball phenom LeBron James, was acquitted of all charges today at the Akron Justice Center.

"I told them son of a bitches I wasn't drinking and driving," quoted Gloria James. "I yelled and screamed and pleaded with the arresting officers. I even kicked-out the back window in the cruiser, trying to prove my point. They just wouldn't listen to me."

In a stunning change of events, Judge Reynolds dropped all charges, stating "This is the first time the Cavs have been in the playoffs for over eight-years. I can't have no bothersome DUI arrest of his mother distracting Lebron from bringing it home for us. We need LeBron focused out there. To some of us fans, he's our only shot."

(more)